2029

Thought experiment. What's 2029 look like? No, really. What's it look like in your version of the future?

Mine?

Easy. Also, incredible.

February 2029. The first series of trials are about to start. Sadly (or not?) Cheeto has passed to the great beyond aka HELL.

Turns out, he didn't get in. Heaven was never a possibility.

Wasn't even close. St. Peter didn't even let the Waymo stop. Turned it right around and pointed it toward fire. Brimstone. The works.

Jeffrey was waiting with open arms in a twisted version of 69 virgins. 69 catholic priests do not make for a great welcoming committee if you're expecting, well, kids.

Back on Earth, the trials feature such luminaries as Pamela Bondi, Kristi Noem, Stephen Miller, Gregory Bovino, Tom Homan and Karoline Leavitt among many, many others. Missing are Robert F. Kennedy JR because he contracted the measles, rabies and tuberculosis in 2028 when he was trying to fuck a wolf, drink raw milk and make sweet, sweet love to Cheryl Hines in the sewage waste water in the Potomac River.

The bulk trials for all DHS ICE agents will be held in person for all defendants in Death Valley in August (remotely for judge and jury) followed by internment in the recently re-opened Alligator Alcatraz for the duration of their 30-year mandatory sentences.

NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNOW, FOX. All airing reruns of The Golden Girls, Magnum PI, CSI, the weather, and Sean Hannity Live around the clock. Not so much as a ticker scroll across the bottom about these trials.

Luckily, the only channel not owned by David Ellison or Rupert Murdock is broadcasting gavel to gavel coverage.

Home Shopping Network hasn't seen these kinds of viewership numbers ever. Sales of trial merchandise is currently the highest grossing category of products HSN has ever sold without having to push it through on-air talent.

After voting unanimously to approve the addition of 12 more members to the Supreme Court, the Senate is about to introduce Constitutional amendments that will limit any member of Congress to no more than 4 terms. Likewise, no member of either House or Senate can be older than 70 at the time of their election.

For added fun, every member of congress can no longer accept SUPERPAC funding and lobbyists are banned from Washington, D.C. Lobbyists are also required to register with the Lobbyist Ethics and Transparency Agency every six months. Any lobbyist found to have let this lapse is permanently barred from every government building.

Every member of congress, the executive and judicial branch nor immediate family members are allowed to trade stocks, real estate or any other financial instruments. All financial products must be placed in a blind trust on the first day of their term and may not be released to any elected member or their family until one year after the end of their service. Any member caught buying or selling any of the above mentioned financial products during their term is immediately impeached and removed from office. This is now an automatic process after a five-panel review verifying the breaking of this rule.

Also, DC is now the 51st state. Puerto Rico, 52nd.

Constitutional amendments also pass for the creation of an immigration process that allows for a streamlined vetting and legalization method for each person so that after being in the USA for 365 days each immigrant will automatically become a fully welcomed Green Card holder with automatic renewal every 10 years until they've been in the USA for 20 years at which time they automatically become citizens. The only exception? Conviction of a violent crime. CONVICTION. By a jury of their peers. Just like the Constitution guarantees.

No questions asked.

There's more but this sets the stage for my version of 2029. More to come.